Editor’s note: Louis Staples is a London-based culture writer and editor. His work has appeared in Slate, Vogue, The Guardian, Rolling Stone, Wired, and elsewhere. The opinions expressed here are his own. Read more opinion on CNN.
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Days before Prince Harry’s memoir, “Spare,” was officially published on Jan. 10, the book’s scandalous details made headlines around the world. The Guardian got it first the scoop: Describes Harry’s physical fight with his brother Prince William, resulting in a dog bowl and a broken necklace.
We soon hear more snippets: Harry’s frostbitten penis (or “todger” as he’s called) on his brother’s wedding day, his confession that he’s taken cocaine, and the story of how he lost his virginity in a field to a mysterious older woman who took his ass. Slap.
Surprisingly, these headlines don’t capture the whole story. “Spare” is a sad read about a man who is clearly hurt and damaged. A man who, through accident and tragedy of birth, never had complete control over his own life.
The central narrative of the memoir is that, despite being born into great advantage, Prince Harry is also a victim. From a young age, she remembers that she existed only when something happened to William. (As a child, he believed he was there to donate organs if the heir to the throne needed them).
As he grew up, he was harassed by the same tabloids hurt his late mother, Princess Diana. He talks about how he branded him the “Naughty Prince,” “Prince Thiko” or made him a drug addict. He says in the book that one of the tabloid editors who tried to complain “BlackmailHe went to work for his father and stepmother. (Charles and Camilla have not publicly commented on the claims).
Now that Harry’s relationship with his family and the British press has soured, the adjectives most often used to describe him are less flattering: soft, fragile, thin-skinned, perverted and repulsive.
The racist and misogynistic media coverage of Harry’s wife, Meghan Markle Experienced is informative. But what is less discussed is how Harry’s own masculinity is used against him. Indeed, gendered expectations of Harry’s behavior are the main driver of much of the vitriol he receives.
Prince Harry comes from a long line of military men who adopt a stiff upper lip attitude and pride themselves on getting ahead on the job. It was an image that her grandfather, Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, was particularly keen to project for himself as he took on royal duties in his mid-90s.
Seen through this prism, complaints are perceived as feminine and weak. Harry himself pointed out the difference between the two “Institutional Harry” and “Husband Harry” – the latter of which is more emotional.
There has been a cultural shift outside of royal institutions Encouraging men and to talk about their feelings mental health. “Spare” takes us through Prince’s process of doing just that. And some of the ways being raised in a royal institution has taken a toll on her, after testing with the help of a therapist, it seems she prefers “husband Harry” to “institutional Harry”.
The tension between Yuvraj’s two personas is really a microcosm of a larger cultural clash between different versions of masculinity. In the so-called “culture wars” that the Sussexes find themselves embroiled in, millennial masculinity has become a key battleground.
Many conservative politicians and commentators have coalesced around the idea that today’s youth are no longer, as they say, “real men”. In 2020, conservative influencer Will Witt gave a speech at the University of Denver titled “Make men masculine again” in which he argued that men no longer being masculine was causing deep social problems.
Republican Senator Josh Hawley’s upcoming book, “Masculinity: What America Needs“, similarly calls on American men to “stand up and embrace their God-given responsibilities as husbands, fathers and citizens”.
Right-wing political activist Lawrence Fox was in the UK ridicule Lamenting the fact that men aren’t “tough” anymore, tweeted: “Bad times make tough men. Tough men make good times. Good times make soft men. Soft men make bad times. We’re in bad times.” We need men.”
Fox claims that society wants “Men’s balls cut off“And describes men with whom he disagrees”the cucks woke up”
But similar language has fueled the disturbing rise of “hyper-masculine” influencers like Andrew Tate. A British former kickboxer has created a lucrative social media platform claiming he can teach men how to be “alphas”. He boasts in some of his videos Asphyxiation and injury to women. Along with his brother Tristan, Tate was arrested in Romania in December 2022 as part of a sex trafficking and rape investigation. Both brothers have denied the charges, their lawyer, Eugen Vidinac, said.
To these self-appointed saviors of “real” manhood, Feminists like Markle primary enemy. But hostility is also reserved for so-called “beta” males who do not subscribe to their worldview.
In “Spare”, Harry recalls seeing a cartoon in a British newspaper, depicting him on a dog leash that his wife was holding. She describes it as “textbook” misogyny, which blames a woman for the decisions she makes. But it was also a classic example because it sought to eliminate her for refusing to participate in the oppression of women—a major tactic used to support tyranny.
Similarly, Jeremy Clarkson calls Harry “Harold Markle” in that The now infamous newspaper column, in which he wrote that he wanted to see Merkel parade naked in the streets and doused in excrement. The Sun newspaper later removed the column and Dr apologizing. But it’s another example of how Markle’s demonization goes hand-in-hand with her husband’s casual emasculation.
Older people like Clarkson and prominent Sussex critic Piers Morgan have gone out of their way to mock Prince Harry and feel connected to his openness about being a man in therapy. The right-wing media has created a target out of the so-called “.The art of therapy” and often exacerbates the characterization of therapy as a self-authorizing practice.
On the eve of the “spare” publication, the royal establishment appeared to be complicit in the narrative by briefing journalists that Prince Harry “Kidnapped by the Psychotherapy Cult.In this framework, a person presenting themselves as a victim, or being victimized in any way, is equated with weakness and narcissism.
On social media, I can feel a sense of exhaustion as the Sussexes continue to share their stories through so many different mediums. But the “extra” is still done UK’s fastest selling non-fiction book Sometimes most people will form their opinions based on snippets of memoirs that media outlets or social media users have made for them, not by reading the entire memoir.
But beyond that Memes Whether it’s about the prince rubbing Elizabeth Arden cream on his frost-bitten penis or Googling his future wife’s TV sex scenes, “Spare” is a story about a man with immense privilege who at least tries to do better — even if it means going against him. Institutions and social conventions that have previously benefited him.
Yes, this book is at times contradictory, out of touch and features lots of toe-curling details I would have been much happier not knowing. (For someone like Harry who often lambasts tabloid editors, there were plenty of details included that seemed tailor-made to make them salivate).
And yes, a break from hearing about Sussex would be very welcome. But I can’t shake the feeling that, for his loudest detractors, it’s bigger than Prince Harry. His fiercest critics feel threatened and betrayed by the version of modern masculinity he represents—one that, like Yuvraj, is trying to break free of his past.
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